Enjoying the lasts

The amazing preschooler has been on a "cuddle me" kick, as in, "Mommy, I need someone to cuddle me." This might come when she is being an absolute pill, the world's sweetest daughter, or something in between (most of the time).

It is so easy to blow her off or find other things to focus on. Come on, kid, I am Working. I am Cleaning. I am Failing in My Attempt to be a Superwoman. Hear me ROAR.

A few days ago she was on timeout for some infraction already forgotten and she felt it necessary to state the obvious. "Mommy, you are being mean. You. Are. A. Mean. Mommy." and then the final blow. "I wish you were a Nice Mommy." (oh honey, so do I!!!)

When timeout was over, I set aside the work laptop and called her over to sit on my lap for some much needed cuddle time. Sweet moments made even sweeter when she fell asleep on my lap and forced me to cuddle her for over an hour. Forced?? How could I even think that was the right verb?

I was reminded of something I read somewhere (help me out here) that named parenting as not just a list of "Firsts" (like those in the baby book), but is also a series of "Lasts" that are so often forgotten or that go unnoticed because we really don't know when it really is the last time. The last time you tied your child's shoes. The last time she ran to your bed in the middle of the night and wedged herself between you and your spouse and kicked off the covers and you had a terrible night's sleep but oh, it does happen a last time. I know it. The last diaper changed (hooray! why don't we have a party for that, anyway?). The last time they needed you to help them do that grown up thing that... now they know how to do.

I sat and savored the warm heavy weight; whispered to her much older sister to please cover us both with a blanket. Sighed, breathed deeply the smell of her hair that is no longer that baby sweet smell but is not yet that pre-teen funk (admit it. You know that of which I speak). Rubbed the tiny back, ran my fingers over the soft little hands that no longer need me to help them form the letters in her name.

I hope it wasn't the last time she will fall asleep on my lap. But I am not taking it for granted.